Myself in 26 verbs- Part 2 (Myelf and Praying)

The other articles in this series can be read here : Introduction to "Myself in 26 verbs"
Myself and Acting

A I had started off with a Verb starting with A, you would be expecting for a veb starting with B. However I felt it’s time to astonish you. I am going to write about a verb starting with P – Myself and Praying that is; After all even Thiruvalluvar did began his work “Praising the God”; let me follow the best poet the human race ever had.

Myself and Praying:

When you are a child, your faith in God is supposed to be directly proportional to your parent’s conviction in God. I was no different. My dad was a devout Hindu – for him temples are best tourist places, and sending considerable time every day with God, chanting Mantras is a routine. I was no different too. I believed that nothing is more important that praying to God. One of the most vivid reminiscence that flashes across my brains as I think of my faith in God is the clash I had with my cousin Vignesh.

My clash with Vignesh

Those were not days of CD and DVD Players and movie downloads from Internet. If you had to watch a movie, you either go to a theatre or hire a VCD Player and bunch of videos. We very rarely go to theatre; however during summer holidays, when all my cousins are gathered at my house, my Dad used to rent a VCD Player. One such time, along with VCD player, he rented quite a few movies; few latest ones, and few old movies based on stories of God (of course acted by Sivaji). When every one wanted to watch latest movies first, I couldn’t just grasp it. “How could some one not watch movies of God fist?” – I began to wonder. I had no doubts what so ever in my mind, that God will be awfully disappointed with their stance.

That was what led to my brawl with Vignesh, as he was the most vocal backer of watching latest Movies First. It looks silly to me now, but then at that age, I earnestly believed what ever was said about God. It led me to get a name a one of the most God Fearing Kid, among my relatives. After all who doesn’t like a God Fearing Kid?

Doubting my Elders

Meanwhile it is not that I blindly believed what ever is said about God. I used to view them with suspicion, but I never conveyed it to my elders. This made them think I believed what ever they said. I will offer one instance that I can think of straight away. My Grand ma used to say, that if we keep our hands on floor while eating, ‘Bhooma Devi’ (Goddess of Earth) will take up what ever we eat. I always had this uncertainty of what will occur, if we keep our hands down while we consume Non Vegetarian food. After all Goddess are not supposed to eat Non Vegetarian foodstuff, so what she will do. However I kept my reservation with in myself, and complied with my grand ma’ appeal always. I am glad that I did that, for that helped me in developing fine sitting posture.

One more thing, that always surprised me during my numerous visits to temple with my Dad, is the relative quantity of time my Dad spent near each God. He always used to spend more time near the Major God in Temple, and less time with other Minor Gods. I can never comprehend how come there was prejudice shown even towards different types of God.

Inner Meanings of Stories

I always tried to identify the inner significance of the stories of God, rather than just take pleasure in the slaying of Demons and Devils in it.

For example, once as we were playing, one of my cousins poured sand on God, for we didn’t have milk to offer to God. One of my elder cousins watching that was angrier on me than my cousin. “You know so much about God. How can you allow him to put sand on God? Wont God be annoyed.” I could never really work out why she was so angry. After all I had grown up listening to stories, where God had even accepted pork, if offered with good intent. (Kannappa Nayanar tale) “So why would he be livid just because sand was offered. That too with good intention by a naive kid?” – I wanted to ask, but my “Never Upset Elders” mind-set made me remain quiet and also express regret to her.

Influence of my Mother and Grand Ma

Though my Dad was very God fearing guy, my mother and Grand mother were more realistic people. Both my mother and Grand Ma, used to pray/chat to God like as though He was their associate / well wisher. I liked that sort of praying to God, rather than mere chanting of mantras. More over, both of them explained the rational thought behind praying to God, and answered my regular questions of God with rational explanations.

“It is always good to have some one we can turn up to, in times of difficulty” – My mother used to say, while talking of God. “There is only one God, but we worship him in diverse forms. We also worship great human beings who had God like traits” – My grand ma said when I asked for the count of Gods.

Middle School Days

With me joining a Catholic institute in sixth standard, my familiarity was extended to other religions too; and I started saying the Christian prayers in school with the same spirituality and truthfulness with which I used to say prayers to Hindu Gods at my home. I could never feel any dissimilarity between both of them. I also enjoyed the parables in Bible in the same way I enjoyed the Hindu mythological stories. It also helped me that I had the luck of being taught by some very secular teachers like Mr. Ambrose. He used to tell about the greatness of Thiruvannamalai mountains where Lord Shiva abodes. Teachers like him strengthened my conviction that in what ever name God was called, he was similar.


Higher Secondrary School Days

I faced an authentic examination on my spiritual viewpoint during my Eleventh standard. I had a friend called Pradeep, who was Hindu by birth, but got converted to Christianity. He used to tell me all the negativities of Hinduism and his one and only purpose of life must have been to some how make me switch loyalty to Christianity. During those times, I had restless nights, wondering if I had been following an erroneous religion till then. However instead of believing him, I decided to find it out myself. I started reading a lot about religions at that time. I found out that each and every religion had its greatness and also had their short comings and Hinduism was not immune to it.

What Pradeep had done successfully was, he had only pointed out short comings of Hinduism to me. Having found that all religions are one and the same, I also decided that with lot of varieties that Hinduism offers, it is most appropriate to me. Hence I was relieved that I had been following the right religion. I continued to be good friend of Pradeep, and still believe that religious belief and viewpoint, can never affect a good comradeship. I would always be grateful to him, for he gave me an opening to explore about religions, though his intentions were different.

Though I had always remained secular; it was more obvious during my Twelfth Board Examination. I used to pray from outside a mosque near Minjur Railway station, as I start for the examination. Then I go to church near our school and offer my prayers. To conclude it I go to a Shiva temple near the school in which I had to take my examinations. Even today as I pray, I don’t to pray to any specific Gods. I always address my prayers to God (Kaduval or Andava in Tamil) rather than addressing a particular God.

My Philosophies of God and Prayer

During my college days and now during my office days, my dealings with prayers mostly involve analyzing my viewpoint of God with in myself. Whenever I do get free time, I start thinking and reading about various philosophies of God, and come up with what seems to be a perfect philosophy to me. These views and philosophies might not be original, but that fact that I found it myself and found that best to me, always gives me a sort of close bonding with these theories and philosophies. Let me explain to you few of those philosophies now; -

My philosophy of God is very straightforward. I mean, it is uncomplicated to me, but if I begin elucidating in words, it may start sounding complex. Any ways, let me give it a try.

“I am not sure if God Exist or not, but what I am sure is I could never find an accurate answer for it in my life time. However the confidence that God exists had helped me so far in life, and I am going to carry on with that conviction.”

Its like when we are childish, the mere thought that our parents are around will soothe us, even though the parents might not actually be physically present. Same way, the simple notion that the God is there to steer me and show me the light, will always help and I don’t want to ruin that belief.

I have always been sane enough to know that prayers can’t execute miracles. However what prayers can do is, help us execute our works to the best of our skill and help us to focus all our efforts and vigor at the task at our hand. That’s why I love this excerpt that says “Praying to God doesn’t make mountain smaller; but it makes climbing easier.”

Hold on. I can actually keep on going about my various philosophies regarding prayers, religion and God, but then I wont end this piece of writing. Let me write about the same some where later, but as of now, I feel I have taken you through an adequate voyage of my progression with respect to praying. So let me stop this article here.

PS: Oops, Sorry Rakesh for one more abrupt ending. Will try to end the next one better.