Sunday, June 28, 2009

Indian Software League

This is the story of drastic change my office has underwent for the past two years. Two years ago, my office was in shambles. The Global recession had hit my company too, and there was a talk of job cuts, no promotions, etc. I, myself was not a great worker, who just managed to scrap through in good times. I expected the worst. Then came that surprise decision; our company was taken over by the charismatic leader who had earlier turned the game played by nobles when they had nothing else to do into an million dollar business.

The management change brought about mixture of reactions among the employees. What does he know about software processes was the common talk among the employees; but then we forgot to remember that he knew so little about the game involved in his previous venture too. We thought he can only bring destruction to our company. However there was so little that we could do, and we waited for him to formally take over the company.

“How many Non – Marsians (Marsian is our company name) were involved in each of the projects?” was his first question on the eventual day when he took over the company. “What” our Delivery head was stunned. “Sorry, I didn’t get your question” he mumbled. Our new chairman slowly repeated the same question that our chairman very well heard the last time too. “How could people from other companies work in our projects?” - Our Delivery head never has the habit of giving answers. He always asks another question in response to a question.”

“I want the answer. How many” demanded the new chairman? “None” – said the delivery head. Our Delivery head being forced to answer the question was the first change the new chairman brought to the office, and by the next week, four people from other company were working in each of the project. (And some of them from other company were sitting in bench too).

“How do you allocate software engineers to projects?” – was the question raised by our chairman in next meeting. Our delivery head started explaining the complex method used by our company to randomly allocate people to projects. He listened patiently to it, and then said scrap it. “Here after Software engineers would be allocated to project after bidding by the managers”- said our new chairman. Frenzy bidding took place for some of my colleagues, who were considered, be very smart workers. I was brought (sounds very disgusting to say brought, but then what else to do) for the base price itself, by one of the maintenance project.

Meanwhile many more innovative strategies were used by the new management to boost the financials of the company. Most of the IBU heads were removed and they were replaced by film stars. When asked what they knew about management, our new chairman replied they knew how to motivate people; He was right, and our new IBU head, the famous Tamil actress, gave her affectionate hug if the project was completed in schedule and we never missed our deadlines after that.

Besides the hugs, there were other enterprising rewards too. Person with least number of bugs in his/her code would get to work in a purple computer. Person completing his/her work in quick time would get to work in an orange computer the next day. I never got to work in either of those computers, but then new chairman also appointed cheer girls in each building who would dance once every hour. That made me work doubly harder.

“We found yet another bug in your code” – read the mail that came from my onsite coordinator. Suddenly I turned around and saw our new chairman staring at my computer. I began to sweet and thought of excuses to give to him. However suddenly he shouted “Eureka” and left the place. Few days later, our company struck a deal with mobile company called “OXYGENTEL” and the next day I got following mail from the Onsite Coordinator: “We found another OXYGENTEL bug in your code.” The mail was in sync with the HR orders we received the day before regarding Email etiquettes.

Meanwhile, though there were misunderstandings earlier, the other company workers now started to really desire the part time work our company offered(remember four per project). For just working hour per week in our company (some times not even that) they got more than what they earned in their regular companies. As a result, some people even applied for leaves in their company citing sickness, and they worked in our company on the same day.

The next year saw the major crisis. The owner of the premises in which our company operates asked us to stop our projects for that year due to some reasons. Every one thought that our company would take a great downward swing like Sensex during Great Depression because of this. However it was not case. Cometh the hour, cometh the man.

Our CEO decided to shift our office premises to one of our competing companies called South Venus. So now we no longer had people of other companies working in our projects, we also started working for our company project in other company premises. Of course our project was one of the luckiest one, as already four of the South Venians were working in our project and we felt at home.

The second year, I was also privately recruited by the CEO to do another task besides my regular project work. I was asked to write anonymously about various fights that go on between our Project leads and our onsite coordinators in our company Bulletin Board. Though no one know it was me, I became famously known across my company as “Fake Software Engineer”.

During this year, our CEO also become concerned about the amount of work we do, and said that after every hundred lines of code, 7.5 minute break was compulsory. CEO felt that the break will help us to analyze our code and take decisions on how to code effectively after the break. Some senior software engineers complained that such compulsory breaks affected their momentum.

Stupid people. I loved those breaks, and those breaks also meant extra money to company. Our CEO had an arrangement with a Soft drinks company to exclusively sell their products during this breaks, and the contract amount went to some million dollar rupees. Those stupid people said he introduced these breaks just to get that money, though I don’t agree with them. He introduced the break to help us mate.

In spite of silent prayers of many who thought we will face the problems in the second year due to economic depression, we continued to do well. For example, one of our projects recruited a tester called Peterman from other firm paying 5,000,000 dollars and he ended up testing only five programs. J. Who said we are in midst of economic recession?

So only two years have been completed and we surely are going to see many such earth shattering changes in the future, which will make our company as the best. Once the changes are done, I will write them for you in the next story. Till then Good bye.

PS: Some traditions points out, that there are some weakness in the way in which in our company operates. Two years ago, our company won a million dolor projects from one the client called “International Software Council (ISC)”. However this year, most of our competitors had inside knowledge about our company as they worked in our projects and they used it to their advantage, and we lost the bid in second round itself for the same project. L

Why Obese People love Cricket?


2007 Men’s cricket World cup in Caribbean was known for first round exits of two Asian Cricketing giants, India and Pakistan, Death of Pakistan coach Bob Woolmer, lackluster scheduling by ICC, and the huge ticket prices that kept the locals away. However one positive image of that World cup was the picture of heavily built Dwayne Leverock of Bermuda, diving and taking a stunning one handed catch at slips to dismiss Indian opener Robin Uthappa.

This is these moments that distinguishes cricket from other sports. The moments that give obese viewers sense of connectivity with cricket that other Modern day sports lack. In no other sport, we could find such heavily built players who have little respect for what exercise means, and who devour ice creams can find a place even in the club games. Whereas in cricket such players turn out and represent their nations and World XI.

In soccer, a person like Inzamam or Ranatunga couldn’t even have represented his village side, whereas they were the captains of the respective national teams in cricket. What Inzamam and Ranatunga showed to the World was that even in days of Jhonty Rhodes athletic fielding efforts; cricket still has a place for those, who don’t worry that their heavy built body.

Change is the only thing that doesn’t change. Change also gripped the cricketing fraternity. To attract wider audience and to make a cricket a major sports outside the commonwealth countries, Twenty twenty games were introduced. It invariably lead to increased importance being given towards fitness of players. Selectors no longer selected the players solely based on the batting/ bowling skills alone. Youngsters, who couldn’t spring and dive and run like mad hare, were not even considered for selections. Touring team not only included fifteen players plus coach; they now have dieticians/ yoga trainers/ strength coaches etc.

Coaches become more furious towards those who didn’t do their daily work offs. Cricketers were forbidden from eating whatever they want. Calorie intake of players was closely watched. Pastries and desserts were punished by more rigorous work outs. Players who just turned up for the match and batted/ bowled were only memories of the future. Players were forced to do all sorts of things from playing rugby to touch football before the match to make them fit.

People, who liked cricket the way it was, began to worry that the Gentlemen game will lose the charm of players like Inzamam and Ranatunga. The way they ran, and drove the ball, in spite of having those extra pounds was a treat to watch for any one. People didn’t want to watch twenty two extremely fit individuals diving and running fast. They love that, but they also love the difference that these obese players bring.

This is the reason when they saw some one like Jesse Ryder turn up and represent Newzland, they become highly excited. Jesse looks plump, drinks (or drank) heavily but also plays cricket well. “If you can drink and still cover drive, you are Jesse Ryder” screamed one poster during the India – Newzland test series. Cricketing World was some what relieved to find out that even during these fitness conscious days, a player like Jesse Ryder could find a place in the National team and also play successfully.

Jesse proves that in spite of what coaches try, cricket will still spring up players who disobey the “Stay Fit” rule and turn out to be success stories. Cricket loves this unorthodoxy and that will be the exact reason why Cricket lovers would welcome Jesse into the Elite Team of Ranatunga, Inzamam and David Boon – players who showed that being not fit is not a recipe for failure.