If computers had been invented (Short Story/ Artice)
“Currently it takes around seven years to produce a new drug.” – I closed the three seventy six pages hard bound book, titled “If computers had been invented”, and looked out of the window. As the train I was traveling in gathered speed, I decided to spend the remaining few minutes of my journey, admiring natural beauty outside rather than reading this book written by a leading scientist from the other side of the globe who seemed to believe that all the problems that the world faces today, would not have existed if only this imaginative machine called computer had been invented fifty years ago.
I had been reading the eighth chapter before closing the book and having read the previous seven chapters, I can easily predict how this chapter would end. The author would talk about various scientific terms, which I won’t understand, and then he would explain those scientific terms in what he thinks as ‘Layman’s Language’, which again I would not understand, but nevertheless by the time he ends this chapter he would some how come to the conclusion that if only this imaginative machine had been invented, the drugs which takes seven years now, could have been produced in less than a year, and so many Africans dying of Malaria would have been saved. (I think this scientist cum author had gone for an African safari recently, as he never seems to end any chapter without referring to
I looked at my electronic watch that showed the time as 8.15 am and the date as 8th August 2008. If the scientist who had written this book were to be sitting opposite to me, he would have reminded me that, if only computers had been invented, I would not have needed the watches and the Computers would have shown (or told) me not only the local time but also the time in all other nations in the World, including Africa. (Am I also getting that
Fortunately or unfortunately, it was not that scientist who was sitting opposite to me, but rather a sixty five year old man, who was staring at the picture of a computer in the front cover of the book, with a bit of venom in his eyes. “Are you reading a book about T.V”, he asked in a tone that clearly conveyed his displeasure of someone wasting his time by reading about the Idiot box.
“No it’s not about television. It’s about an imaginative, yet to be invented machine called Computer”. I said quickly, hoping the answer would reduce the venom in his eyes to an acceptable level.
“Can we watch television serials in it?” – asked the middle aged lady who looked like the old man’s daughter in law. Now I could understand why the old man hated televisions. A small boy who was sitting next to me doing his math homework looked up at me, and his face conveyed the fact that he wanted to ask whether we can watch cricket matches in it. However he quickly thought otherwise and went back to his work. May be his cerebrum reminded him about the punishment his math teacher usually gives to Home work defaulters.
“Yes I think we can.” – I answered the lady’s question, thereby creating a competition between television and computers on which was most hated by that old man, but before either of them could reply I added “But it has much more use than just watching serials or cricket matches. (I am always proud of the fact that I could read questions on other people’s minds, just wanted to convey to that young guy that I know what was on his mind) It can solve wide range of problems.”
The old man’s attitude towards computers changed the moment he heard that computers could solve problems, and he decided to put the computers to a test on problem solving. “I had not received my old age pension of eight hundred rupees for the past two months. I have been meeting the Tashildhar every day for the past one month, but I am not getting any satisfactory reply. Will this machine solve my problem? – asked the innocent old man.
I was stumped. That scientist had not written anything about the problems of Tashildhar. (May be there were no Tashildhar in his country) I mumbled “I am not sure. It can do things like complex math problems………” I, completely aware that solving complex math problem won’t interest either the old man or his daughter in law, tried to think of something from the book that would fascinate them.
However the phrase ‘Solving Math problems’ did fascinate that ten year old kid sitting next to me. He looked up at me, hoping that suddenly some one would invent the computer and threw it into the train.
The train slowed down to stop at yet another station, where as usual more people would get into the already packed compartment. As I had to get down in the next station, I kept the book inside the bag and pushed, pulled and stamped people on my way to exit. Meanwhile my mind was racing back to last Wednesday, the day when I got this book – the book that had taught me so much about this imaginative machine, which if had been invented could have changed the world. (According to that scientist, of course)
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LAST WEDNESDAY
I was calculating the interest the bank should pay to a customer, who had invested a million dollar. No. I am neither working in a bank nor I am going to invest one million dollar in a bank. (With my monthly salary, investing one million won’t even qualify as a day-dream.) Rather the bank is my company’s client, my company being one of the prominent in our nation that specializes in doing back end operations for banks, hospitals, super markets, universities etc, in a nation that is situated exactly across the globe. (My office colleagues forgive me, for writing a paragraph about what you already know, I am planning to post this article in my external blog too, and hence it became necessary to write about what I do. My cousins/ college friends read them there, and they think I am getting salary for doing nothing. I got to prove them that I do something in return for salary I get.)
“Hi Subramani.” It was when I was dealing with that amount of money, my colleague Siva approached me. “Any contributions from you for the next edition of ‘Thendral’.”
“So you want another story that I had already written in the Bulletin board for Thendral’s next edition?”
If you didn’t understand the previous sentence properly, then it means I need to explain to you about both ‘Thendral’ and our Bulletin board. Thendral is our DC’s newsletter, brought about by some enthusiastic members of our DC of which Siva is also a member. Bulletin board is a board kept near our entrance, where the employees can write, whatever they think as creative and pin it up. (Whatever they think as creative doesn’t literally mean whatever they think. There are rules to be followed.)
Thought I don’t like boosting about myself, I felt it is necessary to point out here that I had gained a bit of reputation among my friends and colleagues for my creative writing abilities, thanks to some of the short stories put up by me in the bulletin board. So when Siva approached me last time with a request for a short story for the DC news letter, I happily sent my most famous short story in the BB (short form of Bulletin Board) “A Beautiful Love Story”. Now I might have to think about some other story for this edition.
“No. I don’t need a short story from you this time. I need something different from you” said Siva probably reading my mind.
“What are you expecting then?” – I asked, but at the same time silently praying to God that he doesn’t ask me to write a poem. The last time I wrote a poem was when I was in my twelfth standard entitled “Terrorism” and I am sure, any one well versed in English would not even call that as a poem.
God saved me from writing poems, but he pushed me into something worse. Siva asked me to write a scientific article.
“What scientific article? What do you think I know about science? The last science book that I read was my twelfth biology text” was my shell shocked response.
“I know about you. That’s why I brought this book from library”- said Siva handing me a hard bound book.
“What’s this book is about?” – I asked him skimming through the book. Then I read the back cover and got to know what the book is about and said “Thank God. This machine has not been invented. If only this machine had been there our company would not have been there. People from that country could have done all the works I do now, easily themselves.”
“Don’t worry. Even then those people would have depended on us to maintain this machine. They would have outsourced that work to us. Any way, now I got to go; but for this edition of ‘Thendral’ I need an article about this machine, not in scientific language, but in a way that every one could understand it” – saying this Siva left, leaving me with that book, and the responsibility of writing an article.
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Walking in the railway station, I was wondering what to say to Siva, as I had yet to write even a single page of the article that he wanted. Every time I started writing the article, it turned out to be worse than some technical journal, and I can assure you that no one would understand a word, if I am going to write an entire article that way. As I came out of the railway station, in a DVD shop, I saw a DVD titled, “Making of a….” followed by some Movie name. It was then I got an idea. Why not write an article about making of the article “If computers had been invented”.
And If you are reading this article now, it means that I have not able to write an original article, and so have submitted this “Making of an article” itself to “Thendral”. I have tried my best to point out some of the benefits that would have happened if computers had been invented in this “Making of Article” itself, but still if you are angry at me for not writing an proper article and are rushing to buy rotten tomatoes to throw at me, please wait for a second, as I would now add more benefits of computers, hoping that would reduce the number of rotten tomatoes that I would receive.
1) If computers had been there, you would not be reading this article on paper, rather you would be reading this in a computer.
2) You would not have been forced to rush to a vegetable shop to throw a tomato at me. You could have easily stimulated the effect of throwing a rotten tomato at me by just clicking a button on your computer.
However as computers are yet to be invented, now please rush fast to buy the rotten tomatoes. As more and more people read my article, the rotten tomatoes may reach record price today.
